Change is

Change is
a knot in your throat
An uncomfortable darkness
A shield
An itch that is too embarrassing 
to scratch. 
Falling in love with the
"wrong" person is
who gives a shit. 
I want to know who I am sometimes
I want to shave my hair off
Can I be a bald eagle momma?
I don't wanna wear bows 
anymore.
I want.
Freedom.
From my mind sometimes
a cave of annoying thoughts
psychotic membrane
pupils darting
shiver.